its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
