We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
