am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
