tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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