So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
