I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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