I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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