Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
