probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She bit a glass in half.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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