Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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