We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize