Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
