I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
