I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
