I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ugly people sure do ruin things
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
