This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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