We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
