I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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