I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
