Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
