my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
