U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
