Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I could fuck to npr.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
