just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
