I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
