i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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