Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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