a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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