doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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