Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize
