I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
