Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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