Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
