is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize