i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
