MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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