I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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