So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
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I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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