we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
