Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
