are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
