Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have peed in a lot of sinks
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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