The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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