its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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