maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
