What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
