I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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