the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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