she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
