just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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