I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
