have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
