Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is wine microwaveable?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
