I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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